Despite all claims to the contrary, some degree of assimilation is unavoidable. Here are 10 sure ways in which I am fading:
1. I wear Birkenstocks, a "sandal" that is nearly unrecognizable to my relatives and friends, and particularly those who live below the Mason-Dixon Line.
2. I wear Birkenstocks and socks--worse than just wearing Birkenstocks.
3. My dogs sleep on my bed.
4. I no longer shop for "dress clothes." No point.
5. I do not attend church.
6. I no longer pray before meals.
7. I order from "Eddie Bauer," "Land's End," and "L.L. Bean."
8. I no longer use a "washrag." (This one has special meaning for Susan and me).
9. I am completely unaware of the latest styles in fashion.
10. The only shopping that I do is via the U.S. Mail