FADIN' ...........

Despite all claims to the contrary, some degree of assimilation is unavoidable. Here are 10 sure ways in which I am fading:

1. I wear Birkenstocks, a "sandal" that is nearly unrecognizable to my relatives and friends, and particularly those who live below the Mason-Dixon Line.

2. I wear Birkenstocks and socks--worse than just wearing Birkenstocks.

3. My dogs sleep on my bed.

4. I no longer shop for "dress clothes." No point.

5. I do not attend church.

6. I no longer pray before meals.

7. I order from "Eddie Bauer," "Land's End," and "L.L. Bean."

8. I no longer use a "washrag." (This one has special meaning for Susan and me).

9. I am completely unaware of the latest styles in fashion.

10. The only shopping that I do is via the U.S. Mail

The End