Wednesday, April 28, 2010
DO YOU KNOW HOW IT FEELS......
to have everything you are and everything you do belittled to "just because you're black"? Do you know how it feels to begin to wonder if every, single opportunity or invitation or overture is "just because you're black"? Do you know how it feels to be seen in a place you've never been or to be called a name that is not yours or to be congratulated for an action or event that you had no part in "just because you're black"? I would like to believe; I do believe that I have accomplished something. I would like to believe that all the honors and awards and kindnesses and good fortune that have come my way are not just because I'm black. What I do know is that it's really very sad that anytime anything positive happens to me. I don't have the freedom to enjoy whatever success I've achieved without questioning...just because I'm black. So now you know why I feel demoralized or degraded or angry when I witness that patronizing, "liberal," helpful attitude from whites, and that shameful, shaming "thank you, massa" attitudes from black folks who are perfectly happy to ride that gravy train. Hear me now, y'all, black or white: I have no respect for you. Later.
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That does totally suck. Believe me, you've accomplished tons--not because you're black, but because you have more integrity than the next 10 people put together and it lights a fire under you. You can't stand to see injustice or indignity or wrongness. You spend the last ounce of your time and energy standing up and speaking the truth and trying to make it right. I want to be like you, and I suspect that countless students over the years have been similarly inspired.
ReplyDeleteDamn, Margaret! I have a lump in my throat after reading this entry. You hit the nail on the head, and I feel your pain.
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