Saturday, April 24, 2010

"Sick and tired of being sick and tired"

This is my 20th year as an African-American woman in a predominantly white institution. I've spent much of my time mired in the muck of "diversity" and "multiculturalism." I have come to loathe these words for they have, more often than not, been used by those in power to "do diversity" in ways that are abhorrent to many "people of color." I have spent a good part of my existence on the margins of the institutions with which I have been affiliated. Perhaps my greatest offense has been to speak my mind even when my position goes against the wisdom and power of those who make decisions. I am neither academic superstar nor an extraordinary intellect. I do have "mother wit," good common sense. Truth be told, my primary area of specialization is "diversity" and "multiculturalism" in the academy. I have studied the academy for as long as I have studied my discipline. I have read, researched, attended national and international meetings and participated in seminars and workshops. I have held every conceivable "diversity" position on campus, and I have never had any power to fundamentally change the ways in which my institution "does diversity." That ought to tell you something about the "commitment to diversity." I have, over many years, watched institutions damage and tarnish us by abusing Affirmative Action laws, finding ways to "make exceptions" for those of us who are acceptable, and breaking "rules" in the name of diversity when an "emergency" arises. What I have not seen is rising recruitment, retention or tenure rates of African-Americans at my institution. For as long as I have been here I have been the sole tenured African-American professor on campus, and it is that ugly fact that brings me to this moment and this blog.

Most of the time, my voice can be discounted because it is perceived as a "lone voice." That is not true. I speak on behalf of many, or the many in this particular context. The anger is not only my own. My sentiments are not simply mine. Some are reluctant to speak; more are afraid to speak. It would be easier to keep silent. I would not have lost friends or been accused of every sort of offense. I have been shunned. I have suffered unspeakable pain, but the positions I have taken come from a place of deep conviction. I refuse to let white people define racism for me. I refuse to let white people explain racism to me, and I reject the presumption that suggests I don't know what I'm talking about. I have seen racism in all of its ugly forms. I've been spat upon. I've been called nigger. I've lived through the overt racism of the Jim Crow South. I gotta say that Jim Crow made things easy. It was in your face, undeniable racism. What we now experience is equally pernicious and far more dangerous. It is educated, polite and civil. It smiles. It condescends and patronizes, and it explains why my interpretation is "off the mark." More than anything, it is self-satisfied. Academic racism declares it isn't racism. It's good for us, liberal. It's so liberal that it doesn't allow me to speak of it. It is passe'. There is no racism in the academy, the problem is mine. I am "hostile and defensive." I am the stereotypical "angry Black woman." I'm not any of those things. I'm a Black woman who knows racism when I see and hear it.

Am I a Black conservative? No! Am I an Uncle Tom? No! Do I hate white people? No. I don't hate anyone. Am I angry? Yes. Do I have good reason to be? Yes. Change? I'm in exactly the same situation I was in when I started 20 years ago. I'm hearing the same excuses, working for the same "diversity" for all the same good reasons. Not much of anything has changed in these 20 years, and I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired."

In addition to institutional racism, the self-ordained "white liberal" has been the greatest impediment to the achievement of racial diversity on many predominately white campuses, and, more often than not, these are the people whom I deeply offend. More on this later.

Until next time. Thanks for reading.

7 comments:

  1. How do you suggest we change this? And if you find yourself no longer angry, does that mean you've been defeated, assimilated, or have just given up?

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  2. Dear Fight:

    Could mean all three. Could also mean that we aren't built to sustain anger over long periods of time. Mine ebbs and flows, surges when occasions and events provoke. Sometimes I feel defeated. Sometimes I want to give up. I never want to assimilate. I insist on being me regardless of the consequences.

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  3. This is a brilliant commentary on the state of racism at a predominantly white university campus. It was Supreme Court Justice Lewis Powell who coined the phrase "diversity" in the landmark Bakke case of 1978 - 32 years ago. Since that time there has been effort made to promote diversity on the university campus in general and to some extent great strides have been made among student bodies. Yesterday, I had the opportunity of meeting the entire family of one of my favorite African-American students and instantly recognized the wholesomeness of that students background. In talking to his twin younger brothers, they too articulated an interest in attending this university. We are making progress among the students, yet another of my favorites expresses the same type of frustration I perceive from this blog, believing that she will live her live in an atmosphere of racism. That is simply unacceptable; we must do a better job.

    The lack of diversity among faculty members, however, is appalling! In the March 5, 2010 edition of THE CHRONICLE OF HIGHER EDUCATION, there is a front page article entitled "A Drive to Diversity the Faculty Yields Results in Rochester" by Audrey Williams June. That article describes the efforts made at the Rochester Institute of Technology (yes, technology, not even a liberal arts college) describes the efforts made through M. Renee Baker, had of faculty recruitment and retention at RIT, beginning in 2002 to undertake a specialized recruiting program for minority faculty focusing on those who were still in the process of obtaining their Ph.D. in the hope that when it came time to chose employment, those specially recruited minority intellects would chose RIT. In the course of the following eight years, Rit has more than doubled it's underrepresented tenure or tenure track minority faculty members. In my opinion, it takes that kind of effort to achieve the goal of a better diversified faculty.

    While I understand the rigid requirements for tenure and fully support them and while I can try to understand the community objections to "affirmative action." I also believe some accommodation must be made in retaining tenure track faculty. A faculty population of a single tenured African-American professor is simply unacceptable in these times. I firmly believe that when tenure is considered for a minority faculty member, special circumstances must be made in order to promote faculty diversity. I believe that in my heart and I cannot articulate those feelings with greater passion and emotion.

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  4. Thank you for these comments. Yes, RIT is doing an excellent job of recruiting. It provides a model for other universities.

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